Tuesday, January 28, 2014

How to be a Kindergartener

  1. Follow the rules. Every single one. Tell on people who don’t.
  2. Forget to wash your hands every.single.time you go to the toilet.
  3. When cutting pictures or letters out of a magazine, ALWAYS start cutting at the other end of the page.
  4. Give hugs. Lots of hugs.
  5. Tell your parents everything interesting you learned that day, including how all mammals are mommies because they feed their babies milk.
    “Mommy, I want to be a mammal some day! But my brother can never be :(…”
  6. Bring flowers... candy... half-used bottles of lotion... or anything else you find on the playground to your teacher as a token of your love.
  7. Get tired of writing after one sentence. A five-word limit is preferred.
  8. Drink as much water as you can JUST AFTER recess/break/bathroom time.
  9. Tell your teacher when her hair looks especially nice. Or especially bad. Or Chinese.
  10. Ask your teacher the color name of every crayon you don't already know. Announce it excitedly to your class, then wait for classmates to find similar colors and ask teacher for color-name confirmation as well. Try crayons (which you've used a hundred times before) to test the validity of the colors. Ooh and ahh in excitement over colors as only 5-year-olds can do!
  11. When sitting next to your teacher for one-on-one reading, elbow her in the side or leg as many times as possible while settling into a comfortable position.
  12. Always tell the teacher when she misses something or does something out-of-routine.
  13. When completing a sticker (prize) chart, form a look of shocked amazement. Jump up and down, and force the words out of your mouth, "This... means... I get... to bring home... my sticker chart... AND a prize... on the same day...!!!"
    (apparently Squinkies are all the rage these days!?)
  14. Sing in the bathroom.
  15. Pretend you don’t know that your teacher lets you win math games. Till she plays with someone else… then remind her from across the room that she’s supposed to let the student win sometimes.
  16. Announce your snack/lunch as you take it out of your backpack with complete and utter excitement. Every day.
  17. Proclaim every day to be the best.day.of school.EVER. Except for the days you cry. 
  18. Make sure everything. is fair. for everyone. at all times. but more fair for you!
  19. When your teacher is sad, give her a hug. When your neighbor stubs his toe, give a pat on the shoulder and an "I'm sorry." Offer your Comfy or satin piece of fabric or stuffed mouse toy or whatever you personally know makes you feel better to them as a token of comfort. Whether they fully appreciate it or not, at least you did your best. This is love.

1 comment:

  1. I think my favorite is number 19. :) that truly is love. :)